'Hanging on the telephone'

I loath telephones. I like talking, too much so sometimes but face to face you can get some sort of idea of peoples reactions. I can lipread if they have a strong accent. My hair gets in the way of the earpiece so I'm always saying 'What', 'pardon' and generally appearing half deaf.

I like texts and e-mails but they are totally faceless and people know what to expect with them. You can spend time thinking what to write if needs be, something you can't do with phones. And if you are in a face to face conversation the pondering and spontaneity are what sparks and inspires the conversation.

Anyway after my phone constantly ringing and me being rubbish at checking messages on the answering machine, I have decided to work in a call centre. No only kidding, I think I need phone training though. I cannot abide the fact that I put off making calls untill I have to and then the person can't even be bothered to answer or be in....
At this rate I will be using pigeon post as my chosen form of communication, unless of course they all get killed in some 'bird flu cull'.

And Skype/Gizmo and all these wierdi internet phone things freak me out, it is really like being in a call centre with a naff mic headset like mine not knowing when it's working or not, even dialling is an issue, well for a retard technophobe like me it is......

Lets all revert to the written word, send letters, texts, e-mails and have these video link up things, then I will be as happy as a pig in a phone box...

Now where did I put the ten pence for the last remaining call box in Nottingham?.