Jailhouse Rock
Had an interesting little foray into the world of judicial proceedings today. I didn't get arrested or anything, let alone commit any crime (well none I got caught for today). Had a little visit to the Nottingham Courts. Blimey it's an intimidating and slightly surreal place. I had to go and swear an oath and have my signature witnessed on all the divorce paperwork.
Well I haven't been inside the imposing building ever before now, I think I'll try and dodge jury service if I ever get called after today. I was heading inside when a riot van pulled up, four police bailed out and ran into the court carrying one of those sealed forensic evidence bags. Well they must have been well late for the court appearance!. Anyway I caught a look at the evidence and it was a lump of metal frame, could have come from a wheelchair, shopping trolley, pushchair, pram or something. I really hope it wasn't a murder weapon....
Anyway got through door to be met by airport style security, metal detectors and stuff, geez I wish I hadn't have stuffed every lighter and bit of loose change in pockets. A good 15 min later I am through to the throng of police judges, solicitors, witness's, kray twin look alikes, screaming kids that look as if they are being fought over by divorcing parents, students, work experience peeps, oh and almost forgot the most stunning law clerk I have ever seen, almost made me want to commit crime just to be in court....
Anyway this building is so intimidating and maze like it's crazy all stone and metal and what looks like security glass, blimey don't put the public at ease chaps. Obviously I had to search for the info point which was manned by what reminded me of a troll from Lord of the Rings. Huge misshapen head, huge yellow cracked teeth and massive nose. If he had green skin we would have had take the mask off jokes.... Crazy. Anyway got pointed to the right place, did the sneaky look important jump in first maneuver and job done all signed, sealed and sworn. Now sit back and wait for all these decree widgets and I'm a free man!
I wonder where the law clerk drinks.........
